Orwell versus Dahl, Woodgate versus Rooney

This, I promise, is the one and only mention I'm going to make on the subject of Big Brother. As you may or may not know, producers Endemol's latest gimmick is a Charlie-And-The-Chocolate-Factory-style Golden Ticket system, whereby one hundred golden tickets are hidden inside specially marked Kit-Kats, each giving their bearer the chance to enter The House via a live draw on the show this week. The thing that really amused is that these tickets are now appearing on eBay, alongside dozens of not-that-amusing fakes.

Sid Lowe, who covers the Spanish Liga for The Guardian, has announced his end of season awards. Funny as usual, but the pick had to be this:

Best post-match sound bite

Jonathan Woodgate. After waiting 561 days for his Real Madrid debut, Woodgate made his entrance in style - by scoring an own goal and getting sent off. Appearing in the Bernabéu press area, he attended to the local media in Spanish before producing this gem for the English: 'Fuck me. Fuck. Ing. Hell. My God. Where do I start? I'm still in shock. An own goal and sent off. What a debut. What a debut! After the own goal and the yellow I was thinking: 'Jesus Christ, don't get sent off', and then I got sent off.'"

Staying with football for a teeny moment, following my previous post about Sensible Soccer 2006, I'm thrilled to see the reviews are looking really, really good. I've pre-ordered for £18 from play.com - I suggest you do likewise. After all, it does come out on the first day of the World Cup. Pro Evolution is all very well (and please check out this skills routine but some days you just want to mash the buttons and rake 'em in from all over the park. Even my girlfriend wants to play this one. A bit of digging around revealed, to my shock, that Sensible Software had nothing to do with Captain Sensible - I'd always thought he'd invested his money from The Damned into a software house - aside from the fact that he wrote the Sensi theme tune. Then I got thinking of their other great title, Cannon Fodder, and ">it's opening sequence. It's hard to believethe furore over their use of the poppy.

How to sort your socks.